SOS my partner doesn’t get me!

Navigating postpartum is really tough. As your child grows older the challenges change but arguably, things don’t tend to get easier- just different. As a new mom you are thrown into this new chapter of your life with little to no preparation. You are expected to adjust and settle in as quickly as possible. Most often, this is not the case. It takes women after birth two full years to regain their sense of self. Two entire years for their hormones to normalize and their brain chemistry to stabilize. 

Therefore, it is crucial to treat yourself with kindness, love and patience during this time.

Unfortunately, in some cases, it can be tough for significant others to acknowledge the long road ahead. To show empathy and understanding for the daily struggles of being overwhelmed, overtouched, emotionally drained, depressed, overstimulated… Having a baby can really rock a marriage or partnership. Studies show, that for approximately 90% of couples marital bliss dives within a year of giving birth to their first child. Trying to stay ahead of problems arising is hard work, but so worth it. Here are some tips and tricks on how to get your partner to understand you more & keep your relationship healthy and alive- with our without a baby.

• Take time for togetherness

Even if date nights are not optional at the moment, take time to be with each other at least twice a week. Put your phones away and just talk in bed. Be present with each other and check up on each other. Those small moments are great reminders that you are not just parents, but also a great couple.

• Don’t blame each other

You are both stressed, clinically sleep deprived and probably unhappy. This often results in turning on each other and getting frustrated. Always remember: it is NEVER you against each other, it is you together against the problem. Try finding solutions that benefit both of you.

• Communicate.

Don’t try explaining your feelings or state of mind to someone who is not open to listening and hearing you. You will both get frustrated and it will end in a fight. Better to tell your significant other that you don’t expect to be understood, but you expect your feelings and wishes to be respected and clearly state what you need in that exact moment.

• Take time for yourself

Try to take “me-time” serious. Check in with yourself. Breathe and relax. Try to center yourself and regulate your nervous system. Great ways to do that are: Yin yoga, journaling with a cup of tea, taking a nice bath, going on a solo walk with music, meditate, read your favorite book.